Tuesday

When I was 10, a friend of mine posted a notice up on Facebook regarding a beautiful Shih Tzu up for adoption.  His owner abandoned him in an empty house, he was starving for days and all covered in dust. I could only imagine how he probably stayed obedient in hopes that his owner would come back for him soon.

My friend took him home but she was unable to care for him because she already had a handful of pets of her own. She left a note on the adoption notice saying that if he didn't get adopted, she might have no choice but to give him to SPCA. Imagine being abandoned all over again...

Sometimes, I felt like it was meant to be. I've always wanted a dog of my own but somehow my parents never came about agreeing to it. With him, it was an instant yes from them, even I was shocked. On that Tuesday night, we drove to her place right after dinner and took him home. He was in a box, so scared and covered in dust. I instantly felt a sense of accomplishment because at 10, I saved a life. We brought him straight to the pet salon and got him all cleaned up. I got him a new cage, leash, bed and all the dog supplies I could ever think of because I didn't want him to lack anything he used to have. 

The next day, we collected him from the pet salon and I decided to name him Tuesday. Because on a faithful Tuesday, we both got lucky and we both found our way to each other. His given name by his previous owner was 宝宝 (bao bao) which means treasure in Mandarin. I would call him different names at different times, he probably got so confused after a while. 

In the beginning, we spent a ton of time together. As I grew older, I probably unintentionally gave a mental excuse that I had way too many things going on to actually spend hours in a day with him like I used to. Every day before I head to class and every evening when I came back he would run to my side and demand for some attention. That short span of time I had before I left for school and after I came back became the only time I gave him the attention he needed. He never complained or got mad at me, he still loved his tummy rubs whenever I had a little more time to spend with him. He was such a loyal and loving dog, he was always so full of energy and he loved when we played outside together. He was so different from his breed. I guess at one point I wished he was a lazy dog so that we could spend time doing nothing and still feel a sense of accomplishment. 

7 years later, the vet told me that he would still have another 3-5 years to live and I was content with that because it wasn't anytime soon. I guess I got too happy a little too soon. On the 26th of June, he fell sick. It was so unexpected because just the day before he was so energetic. It was a disease called Autoimmune Disorder whereby his immune system unknowingly attacked his healthy body tissues by mistake. Apparently it's a common disease that dogs get and most of the time, they don't survive the attack. The break up with Sheng Wei made me realized how caught up with my life I've been till now. I realized how much time I haven't been spending with my loved ones and when I decided to finally give Tuesday everything he deserved, he left me. 

He was admitted into a vet hospital on that tragic Friday afternoon and I've been visiting him everyday since. Just yesterday morning I dropped by the vet hospital and I saw how much he was suffering. He wasn't his usual cheerful self and he was trying so hard to move to my side. He was struggling and it made me so sad to see him suffered and that I couldn't do anything to ease the pain. He rested his head on my hands and I gave him a tummy rub because that was all I could do for him. I had hopes that a miracle would happen and that he would get well soon because it was so hard to find a blood donor for him on the first day but I managed to in the end. I just really thought that he would make it through this time again.

When the clock stroked 12, I got a call from the vet hospital. They said my baby didn't make it. I can only imagine how he must have thought that I abandoned him when I left him this morning because I could see how sad he looked. I didn't get to say much to him because I thought he would get well soon. I wanted him to get well soon. I can't believe he's gone. I wonder if he went while he was sound asleep or was he in struggling in pain. I hope he fell asleep peacefully and that he didn't struggle too hard to keep his life because that would be unbearable. 

Tuesday, you're in a better place now. The big man up above probably really wanted a fluffy little angel like you and so he did. He's gonna take care of you so much better than I ever did and I hope you enjoy every bit of being pampered by Him. Thank you for being by my side for such a long time. Thank you for being patient with me even though I was never as patient when I was with you. I'm sorry for not giving you the amount of time and attention I should have. I'm so full of regret and it sucked to know that I could never make it up to you ever again. I hope that you find your parents in heaven and maybe your siblings if you ever had any.

In whatever form they take, I believe that two souls meet for a reason. We've had each other for 7 years now and I believe that you'll eventually make your way back home to me in another form. When we meet, we'll instantly click :) just like how we did on the first day. 

I love you baby, sweet dreams. 

-Zoey